The Kind-Of-Walking Dead

Today was one of my favorite days: leg day.  I love working my lower body.  It is always strong.  I like having strength.  I mean, come on…who doesn’t?  I even like to zombie walk the day after leg day.  I like that good muscle soreness.  It is a positive sign that I worked hard and made my workout count.

Today is no different in that sense.  I will likely be sore tomorrow, but it won’t be necessary.  I know I pushed myself to my limits despite the many modifications I needed to make to Body Beast Build: Legs.  Just as I never leave my mat post-PiYo and wonder if could have given a little more, I know that today I gave that session everything I had.

And yet…

My modifications arise due to my often random but quick loss of balance due to what can best be described as massive headrushes and a pins-and-needles sensation in my calves and feet  I cannot complete one-legged deadlifts any easier than I can alternate lunges.  Three-point stances and Warrior 3 are only slightly less difficult.  So, I’m off to the neurologist next week for another round of tests and (sadly) off my methotrexate for two weeks.

Already, I can feel my hands seizing up in the evenings.  My mornings are stiff and awkward; I don’t necessarily need a good leg day to give me that zombie walk.  In addition to my regular RA calling cards, I am also experiencing intense muscle pain everywhere from my neck to my lovely bottom (I can say that after two months of PiYo).  The fatigue has been crushing.  Until nightfall, that is, when I am on high alert.  Bonus: I am all caught up and ready for the next season of Pretty Little Liars.

I contemplated skipping my workout today.  No, really.  I thought about that long and hard.  And then I remembered how much better I feel when I’m done.  How much better my body feels overall when I exercise regularly.  I remembered that autoimmune diseases are not my excuse, but rather my reason.  I want to be better.  I want to be stronger.  Someday, I would even like to run again.  I won’t reach those goals by looking at my weights.  I won’t get there by walking right by my mat.

My epiphany has even stretched to my renewed commitment to nutrition.  I am back on MyFitnessPal thanks to a fellow GrokStar from my long-enduring GrokItOut challenge group.  It helped me more than I expected it to on my first day back.  I’m looking forward to expanding my nutrition base in a few weeks when I begin 21-Day Fix and force Hubby to do it with me (he’s gotta be healthy, too; I need him around to hold my purse).

Again, I have learned that my mother didn’t raise a quitter.  Her stubbornness is strong in me and that’s a mighty fine thing.  I refuse to go down without a fight.  Actually, I just refuse to go down.  Unless I’m in Warrior 3, at which point, you’ll just have to give me a little nudge to topple me over.

But I’ll get right back up.  ;)